What do we mean by “supervisor”?

In traditional Western business, a supervisor is someone who provides instruction and evaluates performance. This is a relatively recent phenomenon, developed out of “scientific management” principles identified in the early 20th century. (e.g. Frederick Taylor, Principles of Scientific Management, 1911). Today, many businesses and organizations follow different models of supervision and management.

We don’t believe Western business practices are necessarily worthy of emulation. Just as mental health professionals and educators use supervision in specialized ways, so do we. Rather than one who is responsible to instruct and evaluate the conduct of another, we define a supervisor as someone who comes alongside a fellow global worker to support their development and effectiveness.

The words “come alongside” tells us that relationship is central to supervision. Although supervisors may not live in the same location as those they supervise, they invest time and energy to understand who they are, their joys, frustrations, challenges and victories, how they are called to be as well as what they are called to do. The supervisor relationship grows over time, with mutual respect, understanding and trust.

“To support their development” indicates that the one being supervised is a learner, one who is changing and growing toward the likeness of Christ. This is a discipleship process, but it is not a master-follower relationship. Both supervisor and supervisee are followers of the Way. Through active listening, powerful questioning, and consistent encouragement, a supervisor facilitates the growth process of those they supervise. The supervisee remains in the driver’s seat of their own growth and development, choosing what to put energy into, what to lay aside, and how they will pursue the goals and callings they have been given.

“To support their effectiveness” reminds us that fruit is a natural outcome in the life of one who remains in the vine, to the one who is a faithful and humble follower of Christ. We know that those outcomes are outside of our control, and often the fruit that comes is not what we expected. The Father has a way of producing much more beautiful and meaningful fruit than we could imagine. So while the supervisor will help the supervisee to identify goals, clarify priorities, and create plans, they will do so in the knowledge that effectiveness is in the hands of Another.

What happened next

After the scolding, I took a few days to reflect on the underlying causes and the environment of our conflict.  And I developed a few actions steps.  So I did what I decided to do: I made a greater effort to listen to both of my colleagues, I apologized to Z____ for making a significant decision without him, I called the pastor of the mother church and asked for his advice and mediation, and I bathed it all in prayer.

By listening to my younger teammate, I was able to gain additional perspective on what was happening and I learned that this was not primarily a problem of what I had done or said.  I still needed to apologize for the thing that I had done, but I knew we needed external support.  I spoke with the pastor of our mother church.  We had launched a church plant with the agreement that our leadership team of three was under the spiritual authority of the elders of the mother church.  So going to the mother church was a clear call to help us move forward.

I explained to the pastor what had happened, and he also heard from the other two members of the team.  I asked him to lead us in a meeting of reconciliation: an opportunity for each of us to lay our grievances before each other, to listen to those grievances, and to decide how to move forward in our relationship.  The pastor agreed, and he scheduled a meeting for the three of us, plus him and one other leader from the mother church.  I knew this wouldn’t be an easy conversation, but it was an opportunity for us to honor one another and also an essential step in the life of our small church plant.

At this point, no one in the church outside of our spouses new that there was a conflict in our team.  But the three of us could not continue to lead the church unless we found healing in our relationship.  Beyond relational healing, the conflict revealed that we also had some significant differences of opinion about how to be a church.  We obviously needed to work through these differences and re-establish a shared vision for the church.  It was not a given that we could do so, but in any case the first priority was a restored relationship.

On the day before our meeting, I received a call from the mother church pastor.  He said that Z____ had cancelled the meeting.  I asked him when we would reschedule.  He said, “David, I’m not sure we will reschedule.”  I said, “But, we must!”  I believed it was absolutely necessary that we at least have a meeting to attempt reconciliation.  But the pastor said that it probably wasn’t realistic.

I knew  this meant that we had lost a teammate. Indeed, it was so.  Z____ never returned to our team or worshiped with our church again.  We never had a meeting for reconciliation.  Our church leadership was now a team of two, and we worked closely together for several more years.  The church continued to grow.  I think I became a little more quick to listen and a little more quick to offer and to seek forgiveness.

Reflecting upon what happened

Last week, I shared a story about a conflict between myself and my teammate. One day after the worship service, he commanded me to sit down and began a litany of complaints against my leadership over the past few years of working together. I argued a little, but mostly I listened.  I was stunned to see him step out of character, and out of the cultural norms I had learned from Japanese culture.

Over the following days, I reflected upon what had happened:  How long had I been causing offense to my colleague? Why hadn’t I noticed signals of tension in our relationship?  What was at the core of this conflict?  What should I do now?

How long was I causing offense?
By listening to my colleague that day, I learned that my words and behaviors had caused him consternation for at least a year.  He brought up things I had said or decisions I had made months before the current conflict over how seats were to be arranged during our worship service.  As I considered this, I realized that the tensions had escalated after a third person joined our leadership team.  It was not just about him and me.

Why didn’t I notice signals of tension in our relationship?
I felt so dense.  I had no idea that he was growing more and more frustrated with me. As he spoke about some of the specific issues, I began to see how some of my actions had made him to feel this way.  I thought I had been working hard to show him respect and appreciation, but I realized I had been taking him for granted.  I expected him to speak up when there were problems between us, but he was following cultural norms by not pointing out my mistakes or bringing up complaints to my leadership – until this fateful day when he couldn’t hold it in any longer.

What is at the core of the conflict?
As I thought about why my colleague was so upset, and how my own behaviors contributed to the problem, I gained a stronger framework from which to view the situation.  I determined that the primary conflict wasn’t between him and me, but between him and the third member of our leadership team.  There were a host of assumptions, communication patterns, and a culture clash at the root of this to which I had been oblivious.  Of the three of us, I was the only non-Japanese.  But this time it wasn’t primarily about the brash American who couldn’t fit in.

What should I do now?
In the knowledge that I was not in control of the outcome and I was not in control of how others would act, I identified several action steps:
-make a greater effort to listen to both of my colleagues
-apologize for some specific wrongs I had done
-call in help from outside our team.
-forgive my teammate for ways that he had wronged me, whether or not he ask for me to.
-ask & expect Christ to use my actions and the actions of each member of His body of this glory.

And that is what I did.  If you want to know the rest of the story, please post a comment!

confidence = competence?

Someone who read my post last week sent me a provocative article that observes the tendency of many people in my culture to confuse confidence with competence. Those with the most passionate voices and most compelling vision are not necessarily those with the ideal leadership profile. In fact, this author notes that “most of the character traits that are truly advantageous for effective leadership are predominantly found in those who fail to impress others about their talent for management.”

In case you are wondering, this is not some outrageous claim nor a random comment from the edge of the internet.  This is the Harvard Business Review, and it’s substantiated by a significant body of social science research. There is a strong consensus among leadership scholars that humility is a core quality of effective leadership.

Of course, we don’t need social scientists to prove this to us.  2,000 years ago, Jesus taught and modeled how to lead effectively: The meek shall inherit the earth . . . I have come not to be served, but to serve . . . The greatest among you should be like the youngest . . . Having loved his own who were in the world, he now showed them the full extent of his love.  His disciples echoed these teachings over and over again: Be completely humble and gentle . . . Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others . . . All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another . . . Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.

So I don’t need scientific research or modern case studies to convince me that leaders need to clothe themselves with humility and make every effort to be good listeners of those they serve.  But scholarship, empirical studies and even modern management publications can open our eyes to our blind spots.  They are just one more thing that we need to listen to.

Question: In the past few days, who or what have you listened to?  How is it helping you to become a better leader?

Lead with your ears

Post this at all intersections, dear friends: Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear. — James 1:19 (The Message)

I used to believe leaders were the ones with strong voices, firm convictions and inspiring visions. They were the charismatic ones who brought a crowd to its feet and galvanized a group into action. They awakened aspirations, quieted doubts, and instilled confidence and commitment.

I’ve come to realize there is another side to leadership.  It’s something that is glossed over in most of what people say, read & think about leading. It’s something that we desperately need in our leaders. It’s something that we desperately need in our churches, our teams, and our ministries.

We need to listen well.  We need to be leaders who receive others into our presence.  We need to put ourselves into a posture of openness to what others think, say & do.  We need to lead with our ears.

When leading across cultures, a listening and learning posture is indispensable.  With people of your own culture, you can make assumptions about where people are coming from and sometimes get away with it.  That doesn’t work in multicultural contexts! Effective cross-cultural leaders diligently and persistently work to understand the perspectives, values, doubts and aspirations of those around them.